Donal's Mom's Blog

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Why do you let them do this to me?

Date: March 5, 2014 Author: OWNER Categories: Donal's Mom's Blog 5

The devastation caused by this cancer is just relentless. It’s not just the physical/clinical issues, the hair loss, the lose of weight, the pain and terrible sickness, these are all issues that most people are somehow aware of. It’s the psychological issues that don’t really seem to get addressed but are also very painful and difficult to deal with. The sadness and loneliness, the isolation and fear.

For two weeks now, the whole family have had the flu. We tried to keep away from Donal but it was impossible. Donal was due to go to Dublin for his stem cell harvest operation and he spiked a temperature. While the rest of us nursed our flu under a duvet with lemsips, Donal was dragged back to hospital to have bloods done, peripheral lines put in, swabs taken and then sent home after a long day with nothing. Donal says he has had enough, and who can blame him, any of us would have had enough and that’s without taking into account what he has been through already.  He asks if his treatment is nearly over and I don’t have the heart to tell him that we have another 14 months, so I say “we are nearly half way darling”.  He said “Mum, why do you let them do this to me?” “You were my best friend but I am not your friend now because you don’t stop them.” This is devastating, not just because he thinks that I am causing the pain but also because if he feels we are not is friends, who does he have? Due to risk of infection he has been taken out of school, he rarely goes anywhere (except for hospitals) or see his friends. If we lose his trust, what do we do? Of course Donal is soon smiling again and we are laughing and having cuddles, friends again. I can cope when it is one or two days but we are facing a very long and difficult time in hospital for Bone Marrow transplant, my fear is that it may not be so easy to distract him with Lego or persuade him with cuddles. It was just a matter of time before he started asking why this was happening to him? How do you answer that?

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5 Comments: "Why do you let them do this to me?"

  1. Published by: Mary Mccaffrey Gilmartin Date: March 5, 2014


    My prayers are with Donal and your family God bless xxxx

  2. Published by: Julie Date: March 5, 2014


    Your account is heart-wrenching. I can not possibly know the pain you feel, though I feel so much pain for you. X

  3. Published by: Deirdre Eaton Date: March 6, 2014


    My heart goes out to you and your Family,It’s so hard for Donal and you all, He is a very brave little Boy and Knows his Mummy and Daddy love him dearly,
    Stay strong, you are his strength even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment. You are in my thoughts, and prayers xx

  4. Published by: Olive Cunningham Date: March 11, 2014


    My mother and i keep you all in our prayers and thoughts every day.We have Donal included in the Novena of Hope at The Graan.Always remember youse are amazing parents with an amazing little boy.God Bless and Our Lady of Hope is with you all always.xx

  5. Published by: Cathy Melody Walshe Date: April 12, 2014


    God help us! You poor family, it’s must be such a terrible time for you. Our family has been touched by this monster too our little girl had her stage1 neuroblastoma tumour and adrenal gland removed in December. I pray for you, your family and Donal that he will get better soon xx

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